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How to tell husband I’m into scat?
Anonymous
I’ve been with him for two years and a few months into our relationship I found that I have a scat/fart fetish. I am afraid to tell him about it. He loves me for me, that is obvious, but what if telling him this changes that? Once he asked if he could pee in me when we have sex somedat and I said yes (I was into watersports that time, but he didn’t know thar either). Watersports actually led up to me finding I enjoy panty pooping, watching people shit, fartinf, etc. One time in mid-sex he said “I wouldn’t even care if you farted right now” and that made me cum hard. I’ve told him after that a few times that I wouldn’t mind if he farted during sex. He said jokingly “I think you want me to!”. I came out to him liking when he farts and finding it hot and he said “as long as you don’t want to put your face down there!”…ugh. How do I tell him? I don’t expect him to ever act out these fantasies (except maybe the farting during sex) but I’ve always wanted to try it. I don’t want to scare him. Please advice would help!!
Updates:
+1 y
Oh, I AM 18, please ignore the fact it says “under 18”. I think I fucked up the birthday cuz I just made this account and don’t know how to fix it.
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Anonymous+1 yAs someone in a very similar predicament I know how you feel. I recently discovered I have a fetish for waterspots/scat and I have absolutely no idea how or if to tell my girlfriend. I tried to see if I could test her here and there to see if she was into it as well but I think unless you’ve been horny or high enough to experience the fetish yourself you are naturally repulsed by it.
At least your man is into the farting side of it. That at least gives you a little hope that he MIGHT be accepting of it. I can see how you are reserved about it considering the comment he made about thinking you’re weird if you wanted to be right there waiting at his asshole for it. But there might be hope… A couple of questions tho:
1) is he significantly older than you? If so that’s a positive because A) he’s going to feel very lucky dating a young girl like you. B) Older guys are more sexually adventurous as we tend to have a bit more sexual experience & as a result more open minded to people’s various kinks & questions about sexuality… because we ALL face them at some point. We ALL push hidden taboos at some point whether that’s as plain as sex before marriage or having a guy squat on your face and violate you.
2) how much power would you say you have in the relationship? I. E. is this guy very lucky to be with you? Could he easily get a girl just as cool, interesting & good looking as you? or is that unlikely?
3) are there other things causing tension in the relationship? or is everything else in the relationship very good?
I know those questions sound very prejudiced and misogynistic but every relationship tends to have a dominate partner & a submissive partner. If you are someone he would really hesitate breaking up with because he’ll most likely never find someone as good as you again then you could probably tell him & he might feel awkward & weird at first but once he sees how turned on you get and how you love him so much that you would allow him to violate you like that… I think he’ll come around.
BUT if you are on the weaker side of the relationship & you’re the one that is lucky to have him then the tables are kinda turned in the opposite direction.
For my situation I feel that I am the more powerful partner in the relationship & there is a SLIGHT chance she would accept my fetishes, I feel that due to other factors that are stressing the relationship I think this would instead be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Anonymous+1 yAs someone in a very similar predicament I know how you feel. I recently discovered I have a fetish for waterspots/scat and I have absolutely no idea how or if to tell my girlfriend. I tried to see if I could test her here and there to see if she was into it as well but I think unless you’ve been horny or high enough to experience the fetish yourself you are naturally repulsed by it. What Is a Scat Fetish? Inside the Sex Lives of People Turned on by Poop.
“There’s something quite freeing about being able to do this with a partner. It’s a way of letting go of shame.”BY ABBY MOSSPUBLISHED: JUL 12, 2022SAVE ARTICLE
VADIMGUZHVA
THE WORLD of kink stretches pretty much as far as the human imagination. There’s a phrase if you can think it, you can kink it, and shows like Netflix’s Bonding (penguin role play, anyone?) have definitely shown us that this is true. But there’s one kink that’s considered taboo even to some of the freakiest kinksters: Scat, or coprophilia, is a fetish for poop. “Scat” is short for “scatology,” an archaic medical termfor anything poop-related, which takes its origins from the Greek word “skat,” which means dung.
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Poop is usually one thing people try to keep as far away from their sex lives as possible, whether that means douching before anal sex, or just being a shy pooper in a new partner’s apartment. But there are plenty of people who view this kink as the ultimate thrill. Scat fetishists enjoy bringing poop into sexual play in a variety of possible ways, such as watching someone take a dump and touching, spreading, or even consuming poop. [Note: Touching and consuming poop can lead to a number of dangerous health consequences. Men’s Healthdoes not endorse any of the behaviors described in this article.]
“This kink is almost as extreme as it gets,” says Gigi Engle, certified sex educator for 3Fun and author of All the F*cking Mistakes. “Even in the kink community, an already marginalized community in itself, people who are into this are marginalized further. Even the most sex-positive people—people who don’t believe in shaming others—will think scat is disgusting, and say so.”
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What they might not realize is that the scat fetish is similar to other forms of humiliation and submission play, Engle says. Humiliation can be a turn-on because the receiver has to completely relinquish control, which can be a great release. It’s also thought that humiliation could be the single most intense human emotion, and that it stimulates the same parts of the brain as physical pain. Experiencing extreme feelings, including pain, can help people to “lose themselves” in the moment and let go of whatever day-to-day worries might be on their mind during sex.
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A more common form of erotic humiliation involving bodily fluids is “watersports,” or sexual play involving urine, which 32% of men have fantasized about. “Oftentimes, people who are into scat need to go to that level that they themselves consider extreme, in order to be humiliated and have that desire fulfilled,” Engle says.
For others people with a scat fetish, the taboo of playing with poop taps into childhood lessons about sex and hygiene, or even deeper religious messages about sex, virginity, and purity. “Some people who are into this will be inverting messages that were taught to them in childhood about sex somehow sullying you, or making you unworthy,” Engle explains. “By doing this thing that’s thought of as dirty, or disgusting, but seeing that your partners still desire you in that state … can actually be very powerful and fulfilling for some people.”
To better understand what it is about scat that people enjoy, we spoke to three people with different relationships to this fetish:
• Slavid (link NSFW), a 35-year-old Italian man living in London, who works in the soccer industry and is open about his fetish
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• Ellie, a 27-year-old sex worker and photographer (link NSFW) who has worked closely with people who are into scat
• Jodie*, a 33-year-old woman with an interest in scat.
*Name has been changed to allow subject to speak freely on private matters.
When did you first develop an interest in scat?
Jodie: I grew up in a strict Catholic family. Anything to do with sex was extremely taboo and carried a lot of shame. There was always this narrative about purity, about cleanliness. And sex made you dirty in a way that lasted forever.
I guess I rebelled against this in my early 20s, got into the kink scene, and started going to fetish nights. A partner suggested scat play—he wanted me to poop on him while we were in the bathtub—and in a way, it didn’t seem that shocking to me, maybe because I’d grown up with this warped view that sex in general is disgusting. We tried a few other things: one time he used poop to finger paint on me, spreading it around on my arms at first and then writing PIG in big letters on my chest. It evolved into a role play, him saying I was disgusting and foul, but of course I knew there was a big fantasy element and he didn’t mean those words—even though other people who don’t understand our interest in scat might have really thought those things.
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Slavid: I was introduced to it by one of my play partners. It was her first experience, too. We both had interest in humiliation, food sploshing, and force-feeding, so one day she proposed that I eat a poo sandwich on our next session.
I accepted it as humiliation and a challenge for myself, so it happened. It was horrible to swallow, but the feeling of being so humiliated, her smile, and her satisfied gaze made me fall in love with this fetish.
Ellie: Having been exploring watersports and sadomasochism for several years, I was drawn to extremities and pushing the boundaries of experience, both physically and mentally. Scat was always the next step up. Pushing my own boundaries when it comes to sex and kink has always been an interest of mine. Getting into scat was a slow process, I should add; I didn’t automatically jump in to it. It was a gradual journey of curiosity. Which it still is.
My involvement with scat is mostly for work, though. I don’t currently have any personal relationships where this is an aspect of our play. It has been through my work that it has been mostly explored; if I wasn’t a sex worker, my exploration of it would likely have been far less broad.
What do you enjoy about it?
Jodie: There’s something quite freeing about being able to do this with a partner. It’s a way of letting go of shame, I suppose, although it probably took me a while to realize that—to think of it in that way. At first, it was much simpler, just enjoying the physical feeling of pooping, and the acceptance of that being no big deal. A lot of people who are into scat are big into humiliation play, but for me it’s about the opposite, almost: not being humiliated by my body—being accepted.
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WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT KINKS AND FETISHES?
Why is this fetish so much more taboo than other kinks and fetishes?
Slavid: I think all of us grow up with rules around what is and is not socially acceptable in ordinary life. Usually anything to do with poo is still such a taboo, something you avoid talking about. Even going to a loo for the first time in your new partner’s apartment can be difficult and stressful for a person: worrying about the noises, about the smell. Even though literally every single living creature does it!
Ellie: Coprophilia is rarely discussed, and desires for such play are rarely admitted to. It’s only ever visually seen in hardcore pornography. It’s taboo because of what it is: playing with probably the most disgusting thing that could ever be played with. The vast majority of people I don’t think could ever understand the appeal, and the thought of it alone causes discomfort. But part of the reason many people enjoy it is because it’s taboo. It being widely accepted would, I think, take away some of the pleasure that individuals can find in it.
How has it been trying to explain your scat fetish to partners?
Jodie: I definitely don’t feel a need to involve scat all the time, and I have other kinks and interests that are probably more accepted, so I’ve only told a few partners about it. At kink events, I’ve brought it up almost jokily, to gauge people’s responses. Then, if I think somebody might be open-minded, I’ll have a real conversation with them about it. Even in those kinds of settings though, I’ve been totally shut down, and had some quite upsetting reactions. That’s been hard for me, because I felt like it knocked me back to this shameful place. But the positive responses I’ve had—even where people have said no, but without this, like, repulsed tone—have made me feel like it’s worth it.
Slavid: This aspect of my life has always been a bit controversial. There are people who accept it even if they are not into it, and people who are disgusted just at the thought. My way of approaching new play partners has completely changed over the years because I now see scat as a very intimate play. When I moved to London, I started to be much more open about it. London has a pretty strong kink community, with so many cool open-minded people. This made me feel more confident and less ashamed about my fetishes! I soon learned that “you don’t get if you don’t ask,” so I decided to create an Instagram profile dedicated to my fetishes and be totally open about my interests. Being so open about it gave me the chance to meet lots of beautiful people! So I believe it was a great choice; the only thing I regret is not doing it before!
